DARK EROTICA IN SERIOUS FICTION? October 06, 2006

EXCERPT FROM ANOTHER BLOG, earlier and more naive

Didn't have time to hunt down a picture.

UNEDITED:

I can never get away from erotica, in my writing even though I’ve had others tell me I should try to write more main stream. And it pisses me off every single time ... Might as well tell me to pluck out my eyes and stop writing all together ... Nothing I do is gratuitous ... some part of my psyche always has a reason .. And if no one else wants to read what I put out there ... I’ll still write it for myself.

That’s what got me into writing ...

was hours as child spent in a dark room alone (self-imposed isolation—brought on by traumatic events) And we’ll leave it there ... (but ... I would lie in the dark ... my eyes closed and shut out the world around me ... I would tell myself stories in my head ... I was never the main character ... or a character ... And the stories would unfold in third person ... so that I was not just seeing through any given character's eyes but seeing the character as well ... their clothes ... the smell of their skin ... a bead of perspiration on the tip of a nose ... And one day I stopped (just) telling those stories in my head {I still do that, even now} ... but I took up pen and paper and began to write ... It was one of the most terrifying things I had ever done in my life.

So, I thought about just skipping the blog tonight ...

I tend to spew frightening thoughts when I’ve been without sleep ... Sleep ... what's that? I took down a post I’d had up a day or two ago that I’d written while sleep deprived but I think I’ll put it back up.

Hell ... might as well be brave ... right?

It's 7:40 PM and I've been awake since since a little after 7 AM yesterday morning ... 36 hours? Crazy, I know ... and trust me, I don't do it on purpose ... well okay One time I did ...

I had read Stephen King's Insomnia (which I frequently suffer from) And I wanted to know if I really might start to hallucinate after the first three days ... didn't complete day three ... My life partner and our roommate, hog-tied me ... slathered me with butter and ... LOL I'm kidding ...They threatened bodily harm and institutionalization if I did not promptly pop a couple of benadryl and snore loudly ... and for real.

You’d be surprised at some of the interesting things I’ve tried after having read about it ...

But I get these days ... you know ... when the word sleep is alien but as long as I'm productive and being creative in some way ... it's all good ... in fact the blame could be pointed at my creativity ... my mind is so busy carrying out conversations with characters I’ve written or toying with concepts and ideas ... that it refuses silence.

I wonder sometimes if I’ve taken on more than I can handle ... two blogs ... a fledgling Fiction Group on yahoo and online writer’s conference coming up next week the ninth through the thirteenth and then there’s my work ... my writing ... I’ve got three completed books to edit and maybe revise before publishing ... hence the site ... I really do suck at editing ...

It’s scary just taking it upon myself to do these things ... but they need doing ...

While the Conference I will be attending via cyberspace will be helpful, I still feel a little ... pocketed ... Guarded about the questions to ask in a public forum.

But still, it will be good ... marketing techniques ... and a lot of things I always wanted to ask of someone who has the 'I've been published' notch under their belt ... But It’s not like I can put my hand up and ask -- How to handle the psychology of a Submissive character who endangers herself out of a need for self-punishment without making S&M and B&D sound like bad things? ... there are reasons she behaves in the manner she does ... but her submissive nature is integral to the plot ... or at least to the make up and paradox of her character ... a warrior ... punishing herself for something she has no memory of nor does she understand the reasons behind her behaviour ...

And then there is the nature of the relationships in my work ... Polyamorous (sp) and interspecies couplings ... Gender-bending ... I cover a spectrum of the walks of life ... alternative life-styles and more ... Graphic—not gratuitous... no one walks into a room and then without provocation just starts having sex or killing people... I believe I handle it well and there’s always room for research ... But that is my biased opinion.

And don’t get me wrong ... I’m not saying I’m the only one who writes about these things ... Christ wouldn’t that be off the mark... but it’s rarely seen in mainstream promotion ... unless it’s fanfiction ... But I would like to meet and find others who write in the genre that I do as well as about some of the issues I cover in my work.

That’s why I’m here on 360◦ ... and on MySpace ... networking for like minded people from all walks of life ... That’s why I I opened up a yahoo groups ... I’m serious about what I do ... And I like hearing the thoughts and opinions of open-minded people who can read my work objectively and critique constructively. But I don’t pats on the back unless they are deserved ... and then pats are okay and maybe a little stroking ... Hahaha ... I gotta go.

Man, maybe I should have left off this blog ... I can ramble.

HOOKIN' MY WARES

Favorite Vampire of all time Druscilla ... major crush on Dru ... not the actress ... the Character. Second Favorite Vampire, Mina Harker from League of Extraordinary Gentlemen ... perhaps the only redeeming quality about that particular movie ... for me anyway.... And oh yeah I did like what's her name from UnderWorld ... Oh and Vampire Willow .... humh sensing a pattern here.

So let's change subjects, shall we?

So I have other Blogs on MySpace and Yahoo, and on my website ...

Well, you know, Promotion. Promotion. Promotion. Promotion. And did I say Exposure?

http://www.myspace.com/claudiathegodling

So, I'm out there now and it's scary, you know. Well, if anyone actually reads this insane rabble, it might be scary, I guess.... because me-- not so great with the...

UHHH HEY EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME, OVER HERE!!!

I'm not shy ... I just tend to want the world to go on about its merry old business reading my writing and leaving me the H.E. double hockey sticks alone ...

Apparently...

Promoting ones Creations doesn't work that way unless you're like some frightening Shaman that lives in a mud hut ... and who speaks in riddles (excuse me) who draws in stick-people riddles-- in the dirt -- outside the hut for the edification of the godless villagers.

Who'd have guessed that, right?

So, I'm bleeding all over the paper ... spilling my insides on the blank sheet for the world to view and judge (Worthy, sexy, intelligent, exciting, titillating... or not) I'm cutting myself up, erasing parts of me that were and remaking me in an image that may not be too objectionable for the public once they finally have me on their lap ... desk ... or table ... maybe even some will be taking me to bed with them ...

But before I'm purchased and spread open, I must first stand on every street corner hooking my wares to attract attention, showing a little of this and that...

So that's OKAY, right ... all a part of the process.

Claudia~

Laughing with irony ...

There's not a single one of us, artist or performer, who has the right to speak ill of prostitution.

And I'm loving every minute of it ... even when it p*sses me off.

Self-Devised TORTURE

Ughh ... Editing ... Editing. Editing.

I despise that word. Acutally despise is too weak. If I could grasp that word and make it human ... I would then choke the life out of it and wipe it from the memories of all beings ... I hate doing ... Because I really suck at it.

Atleast with my own stuff. I usually wind up hating something that was fine the way it was and deleting it or leaving something in that should be changed and deleted.

I get caught up in my work ... and I'm loving it ... I get to the end and decide to go back and edit and then I hate everything on page. I wonder why it's so hard to view our own work so objectively and without ripping ourselves to shred over it ... I envision a friend of mine a painter ... an artist ... once got so frustrated with a piece she was working on ... I thought it was amazing ... she called it a piece of crap and then took said piece of crap out into the yard and set it ablaze...

But I've done that before as well become so infuriated with a manuscript that I just tossed it into a fire. My god that hurt after. It felt like I'd set a torch to my heart.

Claudia

PAINS OF LABOR

WRITING FICTION

It's a long and painful process.

Kinda of like giving birth to a forty pound watermelon.

That's writing on the bad days--those days when the muse is sleeping in and every word trickles on the page like ink from a pen that's nearly dried up. I've had a kid so I can compare and honestly say it's also like labor pain when the little ****er decides "not going to be born today."

But in spite of the agony, you can't help but love it. Because there's something about the process of creating worlds, people and creatures, legends and faiths ... that's so freeing ... making them live and breathe on page and making them real to others -- it's like being a A mini-deity isn't it? -- A godling .

ABOUT THIS BLOG

I suppose it's good to have a theme of some kind
to let others know exactly what I'm about. For
instance, am I peddling something? Am I doling
out advice? Publicity for recently published work?

No. Not really.

I have the misfortune of having been born with
a disorganized mind. So I don't have a format, formula,
or outline to follow. Or specific listing of topics
wherewith to reel people in and hook attention.

No wealth of knowledge to extol upon you.

Just the odd ramblings of an equally odd brain.

There's no way in hell I'd ever try to give out
Writing advice.

My mind is so cluttered that I'd most likely start out
discussing a formula for constructing plots but end up
veering off into a discussion about the advantages
of using thighs as napkins.

Or discussing that most lesbians who use dildos and
or strap ons are not simulating heterosexual sex.
But use them because penetration, is pleasurable.
And feels good. Fingers, toes, nipples, tongues, a fist...

Bring it.

Uh. I mean... (clearing throat nervously)

...If you're into that sort of thing.

See what I mean? Rambling. Disorganized. So I'm just write.
And if you want to read it ... do so. But don't expect glistening
pearls of wisdom. Well sometimes you can expect it. But ...

Anyway enjoy.

I Tried To Stop Me.

I Tried To Stop me.

Quite the different set up from my other blogs. To say this will be interesting is to say nothing. So maybe I shouldn't have said it. Well it's too late now.

Anyway, hi.
Did that sound grumpy? I am grumpy. I'm pissed as hell at myself for starting up, yet another blog and letting none of my arguments give pause to this idea. Truly, sometimes talking to myself is like talking to a brick wall.

I'm all, "Really what more could you have to say?"
And I say, "Whatever the hell I feel like saying."
So I said, "Fine. Do whatever the hell you want."
And I said "Fine. I Will."

And well now I got this stupid blog.

Claudia G

the Godling