DARK EROTICA IN SERIOUS FICTION? October 06, 2006

EXCERPT FROM ANOTHER BLOG, earlier and more naive

Didn't have time to hunt down a picture.

UNEDITED:

I can never get away from erotica, in my writing even though I’ve had others tell me I should try to write more main stream. And it pisses me off every single time ... Might as well tell me to pluck out my eyes and stop writing all together ... Nothing I do is gratuitous ... some part of my psyche always has a reason .. And if no one else wants to read what I put out there ... I’ll still write it for myself.

That’s what got me into writing ...

was hours as child spent in a dark room alone (self-imposed isolation—brought on by traumatic events) And we’ll leave it there ... (but ... I would lie in the dark ... my eyes closed and shut out the world around me ... I would tell myself stories in my head ... I was never the main character ... or a character ... And the stories would unfold in third person ... so that I was not just seeing through any given character's eyes but seeing the character as well ... their clothes ... the smell of their skin ... a bead of perspiration on the tip of a nose ... And one day I stopped (just) telling those stories in my head {I still do that, even now} ... but I took up pen and paper and began to write ... It was one of the most terrifying things I had ever done in my life.

So, I thought about just skipping the blog tonight ...

I tend to spew frightening thoughts when I’ve been without sleep ... Sleep ... what's that? I took down a post I’d had up a day or two ago that I’d written while sleep deprived but I think I’ll put it back up.

Hell ... might as well be brave ... right?

It's 7:40 PM and I've been awake since since a little after 7 AM yesterday morning ... 36 hours? Crazy, I know ... and trust me, I don't do it on purpose ... well okay One time I did ...

I had read Stephen King's Insomnia (which I frequently suffer from) And I wanted to know if I really might start to hallucinate after the first three days ... didn't complete day three ... My life partner and our roommate, hog-tied me ... slathered me with butter and ... LOL I'm kidding ...They threatened bodily harm and institutionalization if I did not promptly pop a couple of benadryl and snore loudly ... and for real.

You’d be surprised at some of the interesting things I’ve tried after having read about it ...

But I get these days ... you know ... when the word sleep is alien but as long as I'm productive and being creative in some way ... it's all good ... in fact the blame could be pointed at my creativity ... my mind is so busy carrying out conversations with characters I’ve written or toying with concepts and ideas ... that it refuses silence.

I wonder sometimes if I’ve taken on more than I can handle ... two blogs ... a fledgling Fiction Group on yahoo and online writer’s conference coming up next week the ninth through the thirteenth and then there’s my work ... my writing ... I’ve got three completed books to edit and maybe revise before publishing ... hence the site ... I really do suck at editing ...

It’s scary just taking it upon myself to do these things ... but they need doing ...

While the Conference I will be attending via cyberspace will be helpful, I still feel a little ... pocketed ... Guarded about the questions to ask in a public forum.

But still, it will be good ... marketing techniques ... and a lot of things I always wanted to ask of someone who has the 'I've been published' notch under their belt ... But It’s not like I can put my hand up and ask -- How to handle the psychology of a Submissive character who endangers herself out of a need for self-punishment without making S&M and B&D sound like bad things? ... there are reasons she behaves in the manner she does ... but her submissive nature is integral to the plot ... or at least to the make up and paradox of her character ... a warrior ... punishing herself for something she has no memory of nor does she understand the reasons behind her behaviour ...

And then there is the nature of the relationships in my work ... Polyamorous (sp) and interspecies couplings ... Gender-bending ... I cover a spectrum of the walks of life ... alternative life-styles and more ... Graphic—not gratuitous... no one walks into a room and then without provocation just starts having sex or killing people... I believe I handle it well and there’s always room for research ... But that is my biased opinion.

And don’t get me wrong ... I’m not saying I’m the only one who writes about these things ... Christ wouldn’t that be off the mark... but it’s rarely seen in mainstream promotion ... unless it’s fanfiction ... But I would like to meet and find others who write in the genre that I do as well as about some of the issues I cover in my work.

That’s why I’m here on 360◦ ... and on MySpace ... networking for like minded people from all walks of life ... That’s why I I opened up a yahoo groups ... I’m serious about what I do ... And I like hearing the thoughts and opinions of open-minded people who can read my work objectively and critique constructively. But I don’t pats on the back unless they are deserved ... and then pats are okay and maybe a little stroking ... Hahaha ... I gotta go.

Man, maybe I should have left off this blog ... I can ramble.