My dreams are usually dark and disturbing ... so much so that I've gotten used to them being such and have found a level of comfort in the fright.
Maybe that sounds odd. But I've never danced in field of Daisies or played hide N seek with Unicorns in my dreams ... I suppose most writers who write dark fiction are like that.
When I was a kid I used to dream of a shadowy figure with red eyes ... actually he looked more like he was made of black vapor ... I could never tell if I were sleeping or awake ... I started having trouble sleeping when I was kid ... But anyway ... this black vapor monster with red eyes would pin me down to the bed, arms and legs ... Sometimes he'd pin my arms over my head and put a hand over my mouth and no matter how hard I would try to scream it came out as muffled whimpers.
It was so odd because in the dreams It seemed as though ... if I could just free my mouth and scream ... scream anything then the black vapor monster would go away. I began a story under a different name using that premise. But my writing was so sporadic and I lost the thread of the plot trying to hurry and toss installments online for eager readers ...
Maybe one day I'll go back to it and fix it ...
Aha ... a mystery, yes?
Another dream I had was so strange. I was probably twenty-three.
It was several dreams within dreams ... and at the end of each dream I thought I was waking up only to fall right back into the same dream. I'm in bed ... A stranger with a knife comes into my room he lunges at me ... I escape by dodging each lunge and finally slided to the foot of the bed to the door ... I get to the door frame wake up only I'm not awake ... I'm in that same dream again ... the stranger with a knife comes into my room ... That dream repeated like seven times one night ... Finally I switched rooms with a roommate never told her why ....
Until she told me that she dreamed a stranger came into the room with a knife ... the dream repeated for her too ... So we got a friend to stay over with us ... told him nothing ... but had him sleep in that room ... and sure enough ... no one slept in that room after that we used it as a sitting room and to spook friends out at night ... during parties by telling them why we no longer used the room as a bedroom.
This was years ago when I was in my twenties.
I lived with a group of friends ... I dreamed of flying a lot ... at the time we meddled with Ouija Boards, Parker Brothers version, one's we made and one a friend of mine found in her Mom's attic. I was a sceptic about such things--Go figure right? you know with all the strange and unusual things that have happened to me and around me, throughout my life... but one night I got more than I bargained for and I'm not going into specifics. You'll think I'm crazy enough after I tell you this little bit...
We were on the board one night for four hours and I'd thought it had only been about twenty minutes. Just my friend, Chris and I.
Things happened that night that I convinced myself had been hallucinated. But my watch stopped at exactly the moment those things started happening and it didn't start again until several hours after we were off the board.
So after deciding that what had happened couldn't have been real ... Chris went to bed ... I was a little hyped up so I fiddled around on the board a little more ... you know ... doing that ... "it happened ... it didn't happen debate" ... mostly I just kind of stared at the board and tried to work up the courage to touch the planchette again ... I was thinking about all the stuff I'd been told that night "supposedly" by the spirit on the board ... things no one could have known unless Chris had become a mind reader.
You see I had devised a test ... I had placed my hands over Chris's rather than directly touching the board or him and as another part of the test, rather than asking questions out loud ... I thought them in my mind.
I still get tears and chills when I remember that night...
So finally, I crashed on the sofa ... I'd gotten so exhausted from just sitting there and staring at the board ... I would have put it away but I didn't want to touch it again. I just couldn't, you know ... So I left it on the floor ... So I'm on the couch tossing and turning, exhausted. But no surprise that I couldn't sleep ... I felt weird ... wrong and I couldn't shake the feeling.
You ever get a broken heart feeling when nothing actually happened to break your heart. So I'm there on the couch--gave up tossing and turning and just stared up into the dark as my eyes adjusted at the ceiling. The edge of the couch sank in near my left side.
I started talking, thinking it was Chris.
"Chris, maybe the Ouija Board isn't something I should do again ..."
"You're right. You shouldn't. You're not ready."
So--- it wasn't Chris voice. I sat up fast ... My hand shot out and touched air. My heart was beating in my gut and throat at the same time. There was warm breath on my face and I was trying to push whatever or whoever it was and still touched nothing but air.
"It would be safer if you slept, now. It's easier to hide in dreams from that which can see clearly in hard reality."
There were hands on my shoulders pushing me to lie on my back.
I tried to scream and couldn't get a single word out.
"I'm gonna sit here for a while, keep guard," the voice said. "You and your friend didn't close the doorway."
I whimpered. Literally whimpered. "Who are you?"
I doubt I'll ever forget that laugh. "You've always known me."
So I recognized this being ... not the voice but the inflection of amusement as the being spoke. I felt safer.
I haven't touched a board since that occasion but the odd things still happen ... The weird dreams still come ... And one day I'll share with you from where I recognized that voice ... from once as a protector and another time acting as guardian of mercy ...
I am the odd ball aren't I?
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