Self-Devised TORTURE

Ughh ... Editing ... Editing. Editing.

I despise that word. Acutally despise is too weak. If I could grasp that word and make it human ... I would then choke the life out of it and wipe it from the memories of all beings ... I hate doing ... Because I really suck at it.

Atleast with my own stuff. I usually wind up hating something that was fine the way it was and deleting it or leaving something in that should be changed and deleted.

I get caught up in my work ... and I'm loving it ... I get to the end and decide to go back and edit and then I hate everything on page. I wonder why it's so hard to view our own work so objectively and without ripping ourselves to shred over it ... I envision a friend of mine a painter ... an artist ... once got so frustrated with a piece she was working on ... I thought it was amazing ... she called it a piece of crap and then took said piece of crap out into the yard and set it ablaze...

But I've done that before as well become so infuriated with a manuscript that I just tossed it into a fire. My god that hurt after. It felt like I'd set a torch to my heart.

Claudia